I tell you a little about my personal shadow work journey to get you ready to start yours.
You see it all the time. The pretty quote posts on Instagram and Facebook, and the videos of people claiming that they can heal your trauma. The problem is that no one tells you the truth… The inner healing journey can suck sometimes.
By that I mean, it’s hard, it’s ugly and sometimes it’s kind of brutal. You can’t expect to go poking around old traumatic experiences and have everything be all puppies and roses, right?
What the Inner Healing Journey Really Looks Like
When you first begin trying to heal your trauma, you will have no idea what you’re doing. You will read the books and maybe some blog articles. You’ll look to social media for the answers, because surely someone has them, and they must be sharing them. But, you won’t find the answers that you’re looking for because everyone’s inner healing journey is completely different.
We all have different kinds of trauma. So, healing that trauma requires a different approach than someone else would take to heal theirs. Your journey will be your own. And you’ll have to find your own way. I’m not telling you this to make you not want to do it. I’m telling you this to encourage you to do it anyway. Because it’s so worth it.
Once you figure some things out about yourself, you will begin to heal. It might be messy. It might seem like you’re not getting anywhere, but stick with it. One day, you will realize that you’re not only more self aware, you’re also feeling better. You’ll begin to heal without even realizing that you’re doing it.
A Look Behind the Curtain
I’m going to do you a favor and tell you a bit about my own inner healing journey. The highs and lows, the good, the bad and the ugly truths. I want you to leave here with an idea of what to expect when you get started, and what it looks like after you’ve been at it for a while.
So, I started “working on myself” about a decade ago. When I was newly sober, and I was completely lost. I had moved to a new town, gotten a new job, and broken up with my long term boyfriend in order to get sober. I was completely alone, and I was miserable. The last thing that I wanted was to be sober, too.
I started searching for something, but I didn’t know where to look, or what I was looking for… so, I read books. Tons and tons of self help, motivation and personality books. I must have read a thousand of them over the last ten years!
Taking Action
After a while, I began to realize that reading books wasn’t going to be enough to fill the void, or make me feel better. I was starting to get a faint idea of what I needed to do, but the next step still eluded me. I just knew that I had to do something.
That’s when I found the book “Crushing it” by Gary Vaynerchuk. It wasn’t like the other books that I was reading. It was inspirational, and the audio book read by Gary really moved me. I realized that there was a part of me that I had lost a long time ago. A part that I locked away in my subconscious and forgot about.
I suddenly realized, I used to be smart, I used to be down right brilliant as a child. I know how that sounds, but I was an exceptionally bright kid. But, I started drinking and partying when I was about 17, and during the decade of hard drug use that followed, I completely lost my way, and myself.
Gary’s book was all it took to remind me that I was not a drug addict loser, not anymore. I had a new opportunity to change my life. So, that’s what I did.
How I Began Changing My Life for the Better
When I got sober, I got a new job, too. I had always worked retail because I was too high to do anything other than stocking shelves. My new job was at a telemarketing center, which I considered to be a step up. I had this one friend though, he sold cars. He was on me all the time talking about how good I would be at selling cars, too.
After about six months of convincing, I finally went to an interview at a car dealership. And I nailed it! The next thing I knew, I was making 80k a year selling cars. I had taken some one Gary V’s advice, and used some of the Crushing It tips, and I had not only gotten a job that I never thought I’d ever get, I was excelling at it.
The new job and the financial stability really boosted my confidence, and I was feeling great for a while. Then that old familiar depressed feeling started to come back. Something was still missing. But I didn’t know what it was, and I had no clue how to figure it out.
What Was Missing
That’s when I stumbled across the work of Carl Jung, the Swiss Psychoanalyst. Jung is considered to be the founder of shadow work. I read about him, and his work, and I was hooked instantly. Since then, I have been on a true inner healing journey. One filled with new dreams, and aspirations that have been fueled by the massive change that has happened inside of me over time.
I became more self aware and through becoming self aware, I began recognizing triggers and projections. These are signs that your shadow is activated, and when you follow the signs, you begin the process of integrating the shadow into your true self. I won’t get into a ton of detail about shadow work, because it’s literally all over this website. But you can check out this article about shadow work for beginners to get started,
After years of shadow work, inner child healing, journaling prompts, meditation and active imagination practices, I can honestly say that I have changed immensely. For the better. I am much calmer now. And I used to be a very aggressive person. I am happier, healthier and moving in the right direction. And I can feel the change, it’s not just a thought, it’s my new reality.
Why I’m Telling You This
I’m telling you my story so that you can see that it can be done. I’m not healed by any means, and you never will be either. Because no matter how much you work on yesterday, today will be tomorrow’s yesterday, and at some point you’ll have to work on that day too. But, there is a huge change coming your way if you can just find the courage to get started.
And if you’re ever feeling stuck on your own inner healing journey, I’m easily reached at jemamar@wistfulwounds.com. I might not be able to answer right away, but I will answer. And i’ll guide you in any way I can. Because I truly believe that we all owe it to ourselves to become a better, healing version of who we used to be. You just have to take that first scared, shaky step onto your personal healing path.
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